


The One With The Kindness The Others Couldn't Match - Tim Arc

by AceofEnder



Series: The One With The Kindness The Others Couldn't Match [5]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23845141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceofEnder/pseuds/AceofEnder
Summary: October 25th Tim drake, a brilliant seventeen-year-old boy, with an addiction to coffee and his laptop, was currently sitting on a rooftop in the dark city of Gotham alone and exhausted.  It’s been a week since he left the manor, you’d think his kind and caring demeanor would keep him grounded by just looking at the boy. You would be horribly wrong
Relationships: Batfamily Members & Tim Drake
Series: The One With The Kindness The Others Couldn't Match [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718176
Comments: 3
Kudos: 30





	The One With The Kindness The Others Couldn't Match - Tim Arc

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM AND SUICIDE ATTEMPT

October 25th Tim drake, a brilliant seventeen-year-old boy, with an addiction to coffee and his laptop, was currently sitting on a rooftop in the dark city of Gotham alone and exhausted. It’s been a week since he left the manor, you’d think his kind and caring demeanor would keep him grounded by just looking at the boy. You would be horribly wrong.

Tim laid back against the door leading up to the roof, closing his eyes, and sighing softly. He inhaled a small breath of the cold muggy air that filled the streets of Gotham, typical sirens and banging noises throughout the city filled his ears, the wind blowing against his softened facial features. “Hah. Never thought I would be the one standing up here, needing a hand.” He whispered to himself, chuckling sadly letting a small stream of tears roll down his cheek.

Two weeks before, October 11th “Timmy!” Dick beamed at him jumping on his back careful not to crush the lean blue-eyed boy before him. “What do you want Golden Boy?” Tim laughed slightly louder than his normal quiet tone, adopting Jason’s nickname for their eldest brother. “Love!” He hopped off of Tim and ran to hug Jason, failing as Jason just pushed him away by his poor face. “Jaybird how could you betray me like this?!” He exclaimed overdramatically laying on the kitchen counter, a leg in the air and an arm over his face dramatically, with Stephanie in the back making silly poses to go along with Dick.

“Put a sock in it Dickie-bird.” He snorted pouring his bottle of water on Dick’s covered face. He shot up and screeched at the cold liquid covering his shirt and hair “JAY WHY DO YOU HATE ME?!” Dick started running upstairs to change his shirt, while the rest of them started to eat, Tim snagging a muffin from the counter that was supposed to be Dick’s. He started to walk over to the table and hit him leg against the countertop, wincing and sucking in a sharp breath. He gripped at his leg over the long pants he’d been wearing for weeks for a moment and walked over to the table. “You okay there Timmers?” Jason cocked an eyebrow at him knowing he’s taken much worse and not shown a reaction. Tim smiled and nodded at him “Yeah I’m okay Jaybird.” Before he started to eat the muffin “Are you su-“ Jason got cut off by Dick sprinting into the room yelling about his muffin, before everyone started to laugh at him. The next few days they noticed Tim was flinching a lot at running into things but shook it off assuming he was just startled.

Three days after the muffin incident, October 14th “What’s up Dragonfly?” Tim grinned goofily at Cass when she walked into his room, she gave a small smile back, but he could see the hint of concern in it. “Are you alright Tim? You seem to be getting hurt a lot lately.” She signed watching his face react. “Of course Cass! I’ve just been really clumsy the past couple days, sorry for worrying you!” Tim said happily, too loud for how he normally acted. She narrowed her eyes at him softly, before closing the door and walking over to him. “Timothy. I’m not stupid. What’s going on? You know I won’t tell anyone.” She signed quickly at him knowing he would catch everything she signed. He stared at her for a moment and let his face fall, pulling her into a tight hug and whispering “I’m sorry for worrying you Dragonfly. I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me. I got hurt on patrol about a week and a half ago. My leg got torn up badly, I didn’t want to worry you. I really don’t want you to tell the others, please?” She stayed in the hug and nodding, with his head against her shoulder while she talked. She pulled away and signed at him “Okay little brother, I won’t tell the others. Don’t worry but know you’re not a disappointment in my eyes and you never will be.” Before leaving his room smiling that her brother trusted her, or that’s what she thought.

As soon as she closed the door Tim pulled his knees to his head and let out silent tears, mumbling to himself almost making no noise at all. “I’m really sorry Cass, I don’t like lying to you. But I can’t bring myself to give you the truth and see the look on your face.” He pressed his palm down over his covered thighs hissing a breath out at the pain. He wiped away his tears and sat up brushing the hair out of his face. “I’m alright.”

October 15th “Timmy?” He turned at the familiar voice, seeing Jason in front of him. “What’s up Jay?” Tim gave him a soft smile, taking a sip of his coffee, while sitting in front of the batcomputer. “Uh care to tell me what case you’re working on right now?” Jason asked him awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. Oh. He was trying to make sure things were okay too huh? “I’m just working on a case Bruce gave me about Harley, why?’ Tim spoke quietly and carefully, remembering that Cass noticed how off he was before. “No reason, but can you stop for a moment so we can talk?” Jason proposed in a much softer tone than normal. Tim nodded and turned his chair around to face Jason, sipping from his mug. “Great! I uh. Fuck I’m not Dick I’m not good at this shit. Are you okay man?” Tim raised an eyebrow almost jokingly “Of course Jaybird, why wouldn’t I be?” He inquired passing off his own question as a joke, but Jason didn’t find it funny. “I don’t know you just seem a little down, that’s all, are you sure you’re okay? You seem to be in a lot of physical pain lately, did something happen on patrol?” Tim thought about his options for a moment and nodded slowly “Yeah something happened. I don’t really want to explain to the others what happened, would you mind not telling them? I ended up missing an important piece of evidence a couple weeks ago I’ve been blaming myself for a while, I feel like it’s all my fault. I’m sorry Jay.” Tim mumbled out, Jason crouching down in front of his chair and smiling up at him. “Hey there Sherlock, it’s not your fault. You did nothing wrong okay? You can trust us with anything alright?” Tim nodded and gave him a kind look. Jason ruffled his hair before leaving the cave “Come on up soon, Alfred’s making lasagna for dinner.” Jay said grinning at him before going up to the manor.

Tim held a smile on his face until he was sure his brother was gone. “Hah if only I could. You’d all be so upset I could never tell you the truth.” He spat out quietly at himself, rolling his sleeve up and scratching roughly, leaving warm streaks of blood and cold words upon his broken skin. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He spat out bitter words of his own self hatred until they stung as much as the wounds riddled upon his body. “I’m alright.” He smiled, wiping up the blood, bandaging the wounds, before pulling his sleeve up and heading to dinner.

October 16th “Drake. Drake. Timothy.” Damian spoke in a hushed tone, knowing how late it was, attempting to wake his older brother carefully. “What is it Dami?” He rubbed his eye carefully letting out a small yawn. “Can I talk to you Akh?” Damian asked quietly, almost afraid. Tim opened his eyes, worried about his younger brother “Yeah, of course Damian, what’s going on?” He turned on the light and Damian looked up at his brother with a side of him no one besides Tim had ever seen of him, Damian “The Blood Son” Wayne, was crying and afraid. “Damian? Damian what’s wrong?” Tim asked him softly worried about his brother. “Tim what’s wrong with you?” He would have been offended by the words his little brother used but by the soft tone he used, Tim knew Damian was asking if he was okay. “Nothing is wrong, why would you think that Dams?” Tim whispered and gave him a box of tissues. “You’ve been hurting lately and seem really sad.” Damian added wiping at his eyes. “It’s nothing Damian, I’m just not feeling great.” Tim assured him softly. “…promise? I. I don’t want to lose another family member Akh.” He confessed almost silently crying onto his brother’s shirt. Tim looked down at him almost about to cry. “…I. Get some rest Damian I’m worried about you, no more crying okay? I’m here” Damian was about to ask why he avoided his question, but Tim pulled him into a hug, and he stopped thinking about it. “Okay. Can I sleep here Akh?” Tim wanted to say no but couldn’t bring himself to, he nodded and gave Damian a blanket to lay with him.

October 17th “Hey Dick” Tim said while typing on his laptop, at the kitchen table. Dick smiled softly but calmly said “Tim? Can I ask how you’re feeling?” Tim’s hand instinctually went to the fabric covering the cuts dug deep into his skin. “Dick, I am okay I swear, you’re the fourth person to ask me that.” He laughed out lightly. Dick smiled a bit, but it faltered when he asked again “Are you positive? I know what I feels like to fake that smile and it’s awful. Talk to me, please.” He quoted Tim, staring into his eyes with care. Tim chuckled and sighed “I’m alright dick, no need to worry. Or quote my own words for that matter.” Dick walked over and hugged him abruptly. “I won’t make you tell me but know we’re all here for you” He squeezed Tim into a hug, but he flinched away, groaning at the pain. “Tim? Are you okay? Here, let me see-“ Dick reached a hand out to him, before he pushed Dick’s hand away laughing. “Dick don’t squeeze people like that, you’re stronger than I am. Besides I’m small, sorry for moving away ” Tim stood up and walked off apologizing to his brother, saying he forgot something in his room.

October 18th “To my amazing brothers and sisters,” At 3:54 AM Tim started to write out his notes for each member of his family. Digging his nails into his skin so roughly he may as well have written each letter with his blood as ink. “I’m sorry I had to do this to you. None of you deserve this. But you’re all strong, I wasn’t lying when I said that. I love you all so much but it’s time for me to take the fall, and time for you to let go of my hand. I’m sorry, keep holding each other up okay?” And with that he disappeared.

October 25th, present. Tim laid back against the door leading up to the roof, closing his eyes, and sighing softly. He inhaled a small breath of the cold muggy air that filled the streets of Gotham, typical sirens and banging noises throughout the city filled his ears, the wind blowing against his softened facial features. “Hah. Never thought I would be the one standing up here, needing a hand.” He whispered to himself, chuckling sadly letting a small stream of tears roll down his cheek. “I’m alright. It’s okay.” He whispered empty words to the rush of wind, the only things hearing him were the crows lining the roof and misted raindrops falling upon the city he has forever called home. He stood up slowly taking a step closer slowly, breathing in the crisp air, paying attention to the feel of his own blood and rain pouring down his skin, hair in his face shielding his eyes from the bitterness he would leave behind in 5 steps. “I’m so sorry to this city. I am sorry to my family whom I leave behind for my own selfishness.” He cried out quietly. 4 steps. “I am sorry to my parents for not being able to do more and carry their legacy.” He bit back the painful words scratching his throat. 3 steps. “I am sorry to my friends that have to let me go now.” He smiled to himself bitterly. 2 steps. “I am sorry to myself, for putting you through this pain.” He whispered. 1 step. He stood out on the ledge of Grand Avenue Station, the tallest building in Gotham that weren’t Wayne buildings. He took a deep breath of that awful dark rainy air and let his tears fall before stepping forward. And letting go. He felt the wind on his body, the weight pulling him down, the fleeting feeling of dropping down, down, down until he felt it. Being held still as time stopped, his wrist aching, he looked up to see that shimmering smile. “Timmy dear stop playing in the rain you’ll fall and get hurt.” He heard the words ringing in his ears and saw the beautiful smile of his mother holding him up. He blinked and opened his eyes to see the crying faces of his…family. Jason and Cass holding onto his arm, Dick and Damian supporting them, Steph standing with them, his friends all there. He watched the fear turn to relief in their eyes, tears spilling from their eyes as he realized he couldn’t let go. Not yet.


End file.
